The definition of persistence, or high school boy pathetic-ness...
Sunday 6
2 days ago
Showing posts with label Just me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Just me. Show all posts
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wrong number, buddy...
If we're Facebook friends, you may have seen this since I posted about it today. However, I wanted to update the blog but am too tired to think up something new and interesting, and neither child will nap (AGH!!!!!!!!!!). So, here is a true story from just before Thanksgiving.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Quick Takes (Vol. 14)
Part of me can't believe that it has been nearly a month since my last post. Another part of me isn't surprised, because I've been contemplating backing off of blogging... possibly for good. I keep so much of my life private, and with Baby #3 on the way, I don't anticipate starting to share more. In fact, I have a feeling that I'm going to be even more protective of our privacy. This makes blogging somewhat difficult, as you might imagine. However, I need some Prayer Buddy prayers, and I'm not 100% ready to leave the blogging world just yet!
1. Prayer buddy, I need you. I am SO tired and I think the stress of the transfusions (and life in general) has finally hit me. The positive attitude I've adopted throughout all of this is still there, buried somewhere, but the past few days have made that attitude had to find. I'm not sleeping-- I spend the majority of the night peeing, attempting to flip over, getting hot and cold and hot and cold, fighting off heartburn (the current bane of my existence), finding no room for me and the hubby and the baby belly in (a queen sized! We should all fit!) bed, and waking up for hours at a time in the middle of the night and thinking about everything under the sun (moon?). I had a minor fender-bender the other day, and completely lost it emotionally-- I was being so careful maneuvering our shiny red truck and it didn't even matter. It felt like some cosmic sign saying, "See-- NOTHING is in your control these days."
2. I told my perinalogist about my exhaustion and how 3-4 doctors appointments a week, plus 3 fetal blood transfusions within two months, plus getting ready for the holidays, plus having two little ones, plus driving up and down the road twice a week for Mother's Day Out so I can actually go to all of my appointments, plus keeping up with regular life (cooking, cleaning, preparing to have another baby) have completely worn me down. He gave me the best advice ever: make a list of everything I need to do each day, then cross off two things. This meant that yesterday the kids didn't go to Mother's Day Out and I called and cancelled my dental appointment. I had a perinatal visit in the afternoon and the kids' Christmas program in the evening-- this meant I was gone from 1:30 pm until 9 pm. That was definitely enough, without adding two extra round trips, of an hour each.
3. Only one more fetal blood transfusion to go, a few days after Christmas. My scarred and bruised belly is ready for these to be over. When little B turns 16 and drives me crazy begging to drive the car/go on dates/not hang out with her siblings, I'm going to pull up my shirt and show her just how much I loved her before I even met her. It's like a war zone on my stomach, so this should be effective.
4. One of the first time's I've agreed with anything our current President has said: "Why would we want to have a whole bunch of people who we don't know knowing our business? That doesn't make much sense." He was referring to his girls not being on Facebook. This is what I'm talking about when I think about no longer blogging.
5. I do have some very exciting news that I want to share with someone, but I don't want to jinx it. Let's just say that I REALLY need a haircut and highlights, and to whiten my teeth within the next two weeks. Losing 10-20 pounds would also be nice, but I don't think that would be a healthy option at 33 1/2 weeks of pregnancy.
6. I LOVE the blog of the prayer buddy for whom I'm praying. I have enjoyed learning about her and her blog has been wonderful with giving me very specific things to pray for this Advent season. She's a blogger I wasn't familiar with before, and I can relate to her in so many ways.
7. The video below cracks me up. I especially like the fairy comment and the "Away in a Manger" song. I think (hope) C has a better grasp of the Christmas story than a couple of these kids, but I have to laugh because I've definitely experienced the "huh?" moment when she's explaining all kinds of other things to me.
1. Prayer buddy, I need you. I am SO tired and I think the stress of the transfusions (and life in general) has finally hit me. The positive attitude I've adopted throughout all of this is still there, buried somewhere, but the past few days have made that attitude had to find. I'm not sleeping-- I spend the majority of the night peeing, attempting to flip over, getting hot and cold and hot and cold, fighting off heartburn (the current bane of my existence), finding no room for me and the hubby and the baby belly in (a queen sized! We should all fit!) bed, and waking up for hours at a time in the middle of the night and thinking about everything under the sun (moon?). I had a minor fender-bender the other day, and completely lost it emotionally-- I was being so careful maneuvering our shiny red truck and it didn't even matter. It felt like some cosmic sign saying, "See-- NOTHING is in your control these days."
2. I told my perinalogist about my exhaustion and how 3-4 doctors appointments a week, plus 3 fetal blood transfusions within two months, plus getting ready for the holidays, plus having two little ones, plus driving up and down the road twice a week for Mother's Day Out so I can actually go to all of my appointments, plus keeping up with regular life (cooking, cleaning, preparing to have another baby) have completely worn me down. He gave me the best advice ever: make a list of everything I need to do each day, then cross off two things. This meant that yesterday the kids didn't go to Mother's Day Out and I called and cancelled my dental appointment. I had a perinatal visit in the afternoon and the kids' Christmas program in the evening-- this meant I was gone from 1:30 pm until 9 pm. That was definitely enough, without adding two extra round trips, of an hour each.
3. Only one more fetal blood transfusion to go, a few days after Christmas. My scarred and bruised belly is ready for these to be over. When little B turns 16 and drives me crazy begging to drive the car/go on dates/not hang out with her siblings, I'm going to pull up my shirt and show her just how much I loved her before I even met her. It's like a war zone on my stomach, so this should be effective.
4. One of the first time's I've agreed with anything our current President has said: "Why would we want to have a whole bunch of people who we don't know knowing our business? That doesn't make much sense." He was referring to his girls not being on Facebook. This is what I'm talking about when I think about no longer blogging.
5. I do have some very exciting news that I want to share with someone, but I don't want to jinx it. Let's just say that I REALLY need a haircut and highlights, and to whiten my teeth within the next two weeks. Losing 10-20 pounds would also be nice, but I don't think that would be a healthy option at 33 1/2 weeks of pregnancy.
6. I LOVE the blog of the prayer buddy for whom I'm praying. I have enjoyed learning about her and her blog has been wonderful with giving me very specific things to pray for this Advent season. She's a blogger I wasn't familiar with before, and I can relate to her in so many ways.
7. The video below cracks me up. I especially like the fairy comment and the "Away in a Manger" song. I think (hope) C has a better grasp of the Christmas story than a couple of these kids, but I have to laugh because I've definitely experienced the "huh?" moment when she's explaining all kinds of other things to me.
Friday, November 18, 2011
A Tale of a Baby and Blood
Oh, the irony. The very blood that kept me alive five years ago now threatens the life of my unborn daughter.
A bit of background info: I've had ulcerative colitis since 2002 and became severely anemic in 2006. I had to have a blood transfusion, and received blood that was incompatible with mine in terms of two particular antigens-- one of them being one of the most dangerous for women of childbearing age. It's not an Rh isoimmunization (which is why Rh negative moms receive RhoGAM), for the record. I developed antibodies against the antigen, and first discovered what had happened when I was pregnant with C, our firstborn. My husband has the antigen to my antibodies, and so with each pregnancy, if the baby also carries the antigen, my antibodies become more specific and deadly-- they target both the baby's red blood cells and his/her bone marrow production. This causes the baby to become anemic, which is why I have to see a perinatalogist on a regular basis. The antibodies have been an issue with my two other pregnancies, but this is the first time that it's incredibly serious. My daughter is becoming very anemic and has to receive several blood transfusions while in utero, and then likely within a couple of months of her birth.
I think my case would drive an abortion proponent up the wall. I've heard the argument that children in the womb are essentially parasites, leaching nutrients and life from their mother. In reality, especially in my particular case, it's more the opposite-- I welcomed a child inside (knowing fully-well what might happen when my husband and I "did what we did," because after two babies we've sort of figured out how that kind of stuff happens...), told her to get comfortable for the next eight-nine months, then proceeded to attack her for months, making her anemic. THEN, instead of blaming this child for complicating MY life (amniocentesis; cordocentesis; tons of extra doctors appointments; traveling for fetal blood transfusions; having to rearrange my husband's, kids', and my schedules; skipping over our 2-year-old's birthday party because there simply wasn't time), I continually apologize for making her life so rough now and keep topping her off with fresh blood, so that I can meet her face-to-face someday and snuggle with her.
Additionally, there's no doubt that this being growing inside of me is a human-- her very own self, with her own blood, and the capacity to have entirely new (human...) donor blood injected into her body in order to sustain her until birth. During each transfusion, there is a team of around 20 people in my operating room. Around half of them are working on/monitoring me or prepared to deliver my daughter in the event her heart rate drops, and the other half are prepared to work on my daughter in the event she is delivered. At 29 weeks, she is much more than "viable." For the next six weeks, the womb is still her safest place to be, so we hope that she stays "inside," but life outside the womb no longer poses the huge risks to her life that it did when she was several weeks younger.
And what does this mean about the possibility of any future children? Don't ask me that now. HERE is where I am NOW. THIS baby, THIS girl, is who I have to focus on for the time being. I've slowly been coming to terms with the possibilities that lie ahead of us, but now is not the time to think that far ahead.
All I know is that I love this girl. This tiny being who kicks and stretches and hiccups and attempts to shove my bladder (and every single internal organ) out of my body in the middle of the night. Is she worth all the trouble? OF COURSE! The only question in my mind is, am I worthy as a mother of all this trouble? We are so blessed by modern science and skilled doctors and having family in our state who can travel and take care of our children. At every turn, we've seen the hand of God, and felt His presence, and known His mercy and blessings. I want to be a woman, a mother, a wife worthy of these precious blessings whose lives have been entrusted to my care. As humans, I think we are naturally selfish creatures who want our lives to be uncomplicated. But you know what-- all lives are complicated. We don't always know what sorrows or burdens or trials another has to face. We struggle and sometimes we succeed, but sometimes we don't. All we can do is try to live our lives as unselfishly as possible, thinking of others ahead of ourselves. That's what mothering and marriage is all about, anyway. Laying your own life down for the sake of another. I'm blessed that God has given me this opportunity to put this into practice.
Please keep my sweet girl in your prayers.
A bit of background info: I've had ulcerative colitis since 2002 and became severely anemic in 2006. I had to have a blood transfusion, and received blood that was incompatible with mine in terms of two particular antigens-- one of them being one of the most dangerous for women of childbearing age. It's not an Rh isoimmunization (which is why Rh negative moms receive RhoGAM), for the record. I developed antibodies against the antigen, and first discovered what had happened when I was pregnant with C, our firstborn. My husband has the antigen to my antibodies, and so with each pregnancy, if the baby also carries the antigen, my antibodies become more specific and deadly-- they target both the baby's red blood cells and his/her bone marrow production. This causes the baby to become anemic, which is why I have to see a perinatalogist on a regular basis. The antibodies have been an issue with my two other pregnancies, but this is the first time that it's incredibly serious. My daughter is becoming very anemic and has to receive several blood transfusions while in utero, and then likely within a couple of months of her birth.
I think my case would drive an abortion proponent up the wall. I've heard the argument that children in the womb are essentially parasites, leaching nutrients and life from their mother. In reality, especially in my particular case, it's more the opposite-- I welcomed a child inside (knowing fully-well what might happen when my husband and I "did what we did," because after two babies we've sort of figured out how that kind of stuff happens...), told her to get comfortable for the next eight-nine months, then proceeded to attack her for months, making her anemic. THEN, instead of blaming this child for complicating MY life (amniocentesis; cordocentesis; tons of extra doctors appointments; traveling for fetal blood transfusions; having to rearrange my husband's, kids', and my schedules; skipping over our 2-year-old's birthday party because there simply wasn't time), I continually apologize for making her life so rough now and keep topping her off with fresh blood, so that I can meet her face-to-face someday and snuggle with her.
Additionally, there's no doubt that this being growing inside of me is a human-- her very own self, with her own blood, and the capacity to have entirely new (human...) donor blood injected into her body in order to sustain her until birth. During each transfusion, there is a team of around 20 people in my operating room. Around half of them are working on/monitoring me or prepared to deliver my daughter in the event her heart rate drops, and the other half are prepared to work on my daughter in the event she is delivered. At 29 weeks, she is much more than "viable." For the next six weeks, the womb is still her safest place to be, so we hope that she stays "inside," but life outside the womb no longer poses the huge risks to her life that it did when she was several weeks younger.
And what does this mean about the possibility of any future children? Don't ask me that now. HERE is where I am NOW. THIS baby, THIS girl, is who I have to focus on for the time being. I've slowly been coming to terms with the possibilities that lie ahead of us, but now is not the time to think that far ahead.
All I know is that I love this girl. This tiny being who kicks and stretches and hiccups and attempts to shove my bladder (and every single internal organ) out of my body in the middle of the night. Is she worth all the trouble? OF COURSE! The only question in my mind is, am I worthy as a mother of all this trouble? We are so blessed by modern science and skilled doctors and having family in our state who can travel and take care of our children. At every turn, we've seen the hand of God, and felt His presence, and known His mercy and blessings. I want to be a woman, a mother, a wife worthy of these precious blessings whose lives have been entrusted to my care. As humans, I think we are naturally selfish creatures who want our lives to be uncomplicated. But you know what-- all lives are complicated. We don't always know what sorrows or burdens or trials another has to face. We struggle and sometimes we succeed, but sometimes we don't. All we can do is try to live our lives as unselfishly as possible, thinking of others ahead of ourselves. That's what mothering and marriage is all about, anyway. Laying your own life down for the sake of another. I'm blessed that God has given me this opportunity to put this into practice.
Please keep my sweet girl in your prayers.
29 weeks
(she doesn't actually look this wrinkly... it's just that the one 3D image that the sonographer burned to a disc happened to look a bit wrinkly)
Friday, September 16, 2011
I seriously can't stop laughing
I know this isn't super-new, but it has me struggling not to pee in my pants right now.
OK, I had put up the YouTube link, but just watched it and realized the "questionable" words weren't bleeped out...
So, HERE is the Hulu link. You can also click on the photo to go to the link.
There's a good chance that if I wasn't married to the most handsome man on earth, I might try to convince Michael Bolton to fall in love with me.
When he gets to the "mystical quest to the Isle of Tortuga" part, I can't stop laughing.
So, what do you think? If you laughed, let me know. :-)
Friday, September 2, 2011
Baby Announcement
18 weeks with Baby #3 (a girl!)
If this little one is anything like her siblings, and only likes to "cook" for 36 weeks, then we're halfway there. See you soon, sweet girl!
Note: This is the only time you'll EVER see a baby bump photo, at least one that shows my skin. I'm not much into them, but wanted to have one shot to document this pregnancy. :-)
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Radio silence and thoughts on migration
I've been quiet over here. Really quiet.
It's not for lack of thoughts and things to write, or even lack of time. It's more about a swirling eddy of thoughts and ideas tangled like marionette strings tossed into an old trunk. And a slight lack of time, of course. That's just a given, considering I never get on the computer when my husband's at home, and he's had some nice holidays from work recently.
The real world news has depressed me to the point that I hesitate to turn on the news or read the paper online. From Arnold's betrayal to Anthony Weiner's idiocy to the heartbreaking trial concerning Caylee Anthony's death, my heart aches over the pain that has been caused for families, especially since all of these events involve innocent children (the New York Times just reported that Rep. Weiner's strikingly beautiful wife is pregnant). I'm certainly not immune to sin (don't we all wish we were, though?), but the layers-upon-layers of lies that each of these represents just astound me-- and certainly remind me how our actions in life have reverberations that can damage and destroy the lives of others when we act on our selfish desires and aim for self-preservation and self-promotion at all costs.
I've always thought it amazing that so many animals know exactly when to migrate, and where to migrate, and where to find safe havens along the way. Each year, Texas-- particularly my own town in the Hill Country-- is awash with Monarch butterflies in both the spring and fall. The hummingbirds have been hanging around for a month or so now. I'm not surprised at all now though, because I've witnessed a nightly migration in my own home.
Sometime back in April or May, we moved the kids from separate bedrooms into one room- C's room. C has slept in a twin bed since she was around 2 or 2 1/2-- it was around the time she was potty trained. H is still in a crib, so I just moved that into C's room.
Sidenote: This was the fourth time that I have taken down and then set up a crib entirely on my own. I always tend to do major projects when M is at work or out of town. I get this crazed instinct to rearrange everything when he's not around to calm me down. Yes, I am woman... hear me roar.
The room-formerly-known-as-H's-room (which was formerly known as the guest room/office) is now known as the guest room/playroom. I got kind of crazy (see sidenote) when M was out of town a few moths ago and started grabbing all of the kid-items (which had burst out of C's room in a desperate attempt for freedom in the living room... and kitchen... and the master bedroom... and the master bathroom) and tossing them into H's room. I liked the way things looked so much that I went ahead with rearranging major furniture so that the kids could room together and the toys could safely be corralled in The Playroom. Yes, I think of it in capital letters now.
Anyway, back to the migration story.
Nearly every single night, at sometime between 1 am and 3 am, C leaves her bed (in pitch blackness), treks down the hallway, through the living room, into our room, around the bed, and climbs in next to me. Half of the time I have no idea she's even getting in bed with us anymore, and the other half of the time I'm only semi-conscious of the fact. With the kids sleeping in the same room, I'm hesitant to put her back in bed (if I actually notice she's climbed in with us) because I don't want her to wake H. It's always interesting to wake up and see what gifts she has dragged along with her sleepy self-- her puppy blanket(s), random stuffed animals, a book or two, costume jewelry, games. We never quite know what she'll decide needs to move into our room with her as part of the relocation package.
So what do we do? Keep allowing the migration to occur? Will it stop by the time H is old enough to migrate as well? Put her back in her bed (or The Playroom) if we notice she's arrived with her entourage? Just relish the fact that she still adores us enough to want to be with us, and think back fondly on these times when she's 13 and thinks we're the meanest parents ever? Wear her out during the day to the point that she's physically unable to make the migration because she's so exhausted? Or just be glad that when she migrates she doesn't make Mexico or Canada her final destination?
It's not for lack of thoughts and things to write, or even lack of time. It's more about a swirling eddy of thoughts and ideas tangled like marionette strings tossed into an old trunk. And a slight lack of time, of course. That's just a given, considering I never get on the computer when my husband's at home, and he's had some nice holidays from work recently.
The real world news has depressed me to the point that I hesitate to turn on the news or read the paper online. From Arnold's betrayal to Anthony Weiner's idiocy to the heartbreaking trial concerning Caylee Anthony's death, my heart aches over the pain that has been caused for families, especially since all of these events involve innocent children (the New York Times just reported that Rep. Weiner's strikingly beautiful wife is pregnant). I'm certainly not immune to sin (don't we all wish we were, though?), but the layers-upon-layers of lies that each of these represents just astound me-- and certainly remind me how our actions in life have reverberations that can damage and destroy the lives of others when we act on our selfish desires and aim for self-preservation and self-promotion at all costs.
Sigh. Moving on...
I've always thought it amazing that so many animals know exactly when to migrate, and where to migrate, and where to find safe havens along the way. Each year, Texas-- particularly my own town in the Hill Country-- is awash with Monarch butterflies in both the spring and fall. The hummingbirds have been hanging around for a month or so now. I'm not surprised at all now though, because I've witnessed a nightly migration in my own home.
Sometime back in April or May, we moved the kids from separate bedrooms into one room- C's room. C has slept in a twin bed since she was around 2 or 2 1/2-- it was around the time she was potty trained. H is still in a crib, so I just moved that into C's room.
Sidenote: This was the fourth time that I have taken down and then set up a crib entirely on my own. I always tend to do major projects when M is at work or out of town. I get this crazed instinct to rearrange everything when he's not around to calm me down. Yes, I am woman... hear me roar.
The room-formerly-known-as-H's-room (which was formerly known as the guest room/office) is now known as the guest room/playroom. I got kind of crazy (see sidenote) when M was out of town a few moths ago and started grabbing all of the kid-items (which had burst out of C's room in a desperate attempt for freedom in the living room... and kitchen... and the master bedroom... and the master bathroom) and tossing them into H's room. I liked the way things looked so much that I went ahead with rearranging major furniture so that the kids could room together and the toys could safely be corralled in The Playroom. Yes, I think of it in capital letters now.
Anyway, back to the migration story.
Nearly every single night, at sometime between 1 am and 3 am, C leaves her bed (in pitch blackness), treks down the hallway, through the living room, into our room, around the bed, and climbs in next to me. Half of the time I have no idea she's even getting in bed with us anymore, and the other half of the time I'm only semi-conscious of the fact. With the kids sleeping in the same room, I'm hesitant to put her back in bed (if I actually notice she's climbed in with us) because I don't want her to wake H. It's always interesting to wake up and see what gifts she has dragged along with her sleepy self-- her puppy blanket(s), random stuffed animals, a book or two, costume jewelry, games. We never quite know what she'll decide needs to move into our room with her as part of the relocation package.
So what do we do? Keep allowing the migration to occur? Will it stop by the time H is old enough to migrate as well? Put her back in her bed (or The Playroom) if we notice she's arrived with her entourage? Just relish the fact that she still adores us enough to want to be with us, and think back fondly on these times when she's 13 and thinks we're the meanest parents ever? Wear her out during the day to the point that she's physically unable to make the migration because she's so exhausted? Or just be glad that when she migrates she doesn't make Mexico or Canada her final destination?
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Waking up early...
Oh yes, I'll be watching the wedding. In the tiara I wore at my wedding. And my pjs, so I don't look too pretentious.
I can't decide what I think of the monarchy itself, but Prince William is only a few years younger than me-- he's part of my generation. And Diana was killed the same night as my first college party. It's one of those things that sticks in your mind.
So, pass me another scone and pour me a spot of tea, please. And keep it down so I can hear what's going on. :-)
I can't decide what I think of the monarchy itself, but Prince William is only a few years younger than me-- he's part of my generation. And Diana was killed the same night as my first college party. It's one of those things that sticks in your mind.
So, pass me another scone and pour me a spot of tea, please. And keep it down so I can hear what's going on. :-)
Monday, January 3, 2011
Thoughts on being single
A blogger who I enjoy following (Shannon at A Friend of Gianna) has written recently about being separated (physically) from someone very special to her, for several months. I was thinking about this over the weekend and remembering how long waiting once seemed (now it seems my life is moving far too quickly as my kids grow up) when I was single. I thought about sending her an e-mail, but wanted to hear other thoughts on being single. I wish I could go back and give my single-self some advice about how to make the most of the time before marriage and children, but since I can't do that, I can lay out my thoughts for Shannon. The irony of it all is that, while she currently thinks that there is a long time before she gets to see her beau, if she plans to do any or all of my suggestions, she will likely panic and think, "I don't have enough time to do this!" It's all about perspective. :)
My advice on being single:
Learn new things, and get good at them
Make a goal of trying one new recipe a week. Ask friends for their favorite recipes, look online, and check out different cookbooks from your local library. Sign up for cooking classes and then practice, practice, practice. It's easy to get into a cooking rut once your husband and kids have favorite meals that you know will always turn out great. It's more difficult to experiment because if things don't turn out like you'd hoped, you may end up making two meals in one night.
Take up a new hobby and take classes for it. Want to learn Italian? Sign up at a local junior college or find a native speaker willing to give you lessons. Take piano lessons or sewing classes. Learn how to decorate cakes in a Wilton course or take a painting class from a local artist. Find a guy friend who will let you practice cutting his hair... there are plenty of videos on YouTube about how to do this (or find a hairdresser who will teach you), and it will be an invaluable skill once you're married.
Develop really practical skills not generally associated with females, like basic woodworking, basic auto repair, and self-defense. Go to a firing range and learn to shoot. Have your father, brother, or male friend (or me... I learned while in grad school when my husband was commuting 2 hours each way to work!) teach you how to grill a mean steak on a charcoal grill. Go fishing or camping and bait your own hook or set up your own tent.
Discover your city
Grab a friend and visit different restaurants around town. Ask the waiters what's good and then order those things. Then, when you have a date night at some point down the road, you have several restaurant options and different dishes to suggest.
Visit museums that you wouldn't normally think you'd like. Not really into modern art? Take a guided tour. Don't know much about the history of airplanes or cowgirls or American Indians? Read up on the museum and then go there with an open mind.
Once a month or every other month, do something big-- go to a concert, the ballet, the opera, or an outdoor festival. Appreciate how in this season of your life, you can do things like this without a lot of babysitter planning or agreement from a spouse!
Get healthy
This will be the easiest time in your life to get in shape, inside and out. Start/continue a workout plan. Scheduling workouts around kids' naptimes and your spouse's home improvement projects takes planning to a new level.
Join some sort of team: volleyball, kickball, running club, table tennis... it doesn't matter. Just connect with others who enjoy the same sport.
Eat locally and organically, at least in part. Buy five different kinds of apples and see which you like best. Visit farmer's markets to see what's being grown in season, and try to buy only those kinds of veggies and fruits at the grocery store.
Get eye exams, physicals, and dental cleanings regularly. Do self breast exams monthly. Floss. Take a multivitamin and drink lots of water. Again, once kids are in the picture, going to a doctor or dentist takes some major planning. Get a good haircut and use a good shampoo. Don't forget to moisturize and wear sunscreen!
Learn about yourself, and adjust accordingly
If you are always running late, make it a point to allow extra time to leave and get somewhere. If you procrastinate, set goals and reward yourself for achieving them on-time. If you have trouble staying organized, make some new habits that will help you to get better. Forming new (read: better) habits is so much easier when you're the only one having to adapt to the change!
Save, save, save your money! It's tempting to think that this is the only time your money will be all yours, but really, it already belongs to you and your future spouse. I wish I'd saved more (and bought fewer shoes and frivolous things) so that I would have entered our marriage with a larger nest egg. If you don't currently budget, start now. Learn about money, because there is a 50-50 chance that you'll be the one handling the family finances.
Read new books. Learn more about your faith. Subscribe to a newspaper or magazine that presents a world view (as in, what is going on in the entire world). If you have the chance to travel, do it! Find a few cities you really like and go there at least once or twice a year. Find favorite places to eat and stay there, and consider them "your" places.
Okay, fellow bloggers... what other advice would you give to your single or pre-children self?
My advice on being single:
Learn new things, and get good at them
Make a goal of trying one new recipe a week. Ask friends for their favorite recipes, look online, and check out different cookbooks from your local library. Sign up for cooking classes and then practice, practice, practice. It's easy to get into a cooking rut once your husband and kids have favorite meals that you know will always turn out great. It's more difficult to experiment because if things don't turn out like you'd hoped, you may end up making two meals in one night.
Take up a new hobby and take classes for it. Want to learn Italian? Sign up at a local junior college or find a native speaker willing to give you lessons. Take piano lessons or sewing classes. Learn how to decorate cakes in a Wilton course or take a painting class from a local artist. Find a guy friend who will let you practice cutting his hair... there are plenty of videos on YouTube about how to do this (or find a hairdresser who will teach you), and it will be an invaluable skill once you're married.
Develop really practical skills not generally associated with females, like basic woodworking, basic auto repair, and self-defense. Go to a firing range and learn to shoot. Have your father, brother, or male friend (or me... I learned while in grad school when my husband was commuting 2 hours each way to work!) teach you how to grill a mean steak on a charcoal grill. Go fishing or camping and bait your own hook or set up your own tent.
Discover your city
Grab a friend and visit different restaurants around town. Ask the waiters what's good and then order those things. Then, when you have a date night at some point down the road, you have several restaurant options and different dishes to suggest.
Visit museums that you wouldn't normally think you'd like. Not really into modern art? Take a guided tour. Don't know much about the history of airplanes or cowgirls or American Indians? Read up on the museum and then go there with an open mind.
Once a month or every other month, do something big-- go to a concert, the ballet, the opera, or an outdoor festival. Appreciate how in this season of your life, you can do things like this without a lot of babysitter planning or agreement from a spouse!
Get healthy
This will be the easiest time in your life to get in shape, inside and out. Start/continue a workout plan. Scheduling workouts around kids' naptimes and your spouse's home improvement projects takes planning to a new level.
Join some sort of team: volleyball, kickball, running club, table tennis... it doesn't matter. Just connect with others who enjoy the same sport.
Eat locally and organically, at least in part. Buy five different kinds of apples and see which you like best. Visit farmer's markets to see what's being grown in season, and try to buy only those kinds of veggies and fruits at the grocery store.
Get eye exams, physicals, and dental cleanings regularly. Do self breast exams monthly. Floss. Take a multivitamin and drink lots of water. Again, once kids are in the picture, going to a doctor or dentist takes some major planning. Get a good haircut and use a good shampoo. Don't forget to moisturize and wear sunscreen!
Learn about yourself, and adjust accordingly
If you are always running late, make it a point to allow extra time to leave and get somewhere. If you procrastinate, set goals and reward yourself for achieving them on-time. If you have trouble staying organized, make some new habits that will help you to get better. Forming new (read: better) habits is so much easier when you're the only one having to adapt to the change!
Save, save, save your money! It's tempting to think that this is the only time your money will be all yours, but really, it already belongs to you and your future spouse. I wish I'd saved more (and bought fewer shoes and frivolous things) so that I would have entered our marriage with a larger nest egg. If you don't currently budget, start now. Learn about money, because there is a 50-50 chance that you'll be the one handling the family finances.
Read new books. Learn more about your faith. Subscribe to a newspaper or magazine that presents a world view (as in, what is going on in the entire world). If you have the chance to travel, do it! Find a few cities you really like and go there at least once or twice a year. Find favorite places to eat and stay there, and consider them "your" places.
Okay, fellow bloggers... what other advice would you give to your single or pre-children self?
Saturday, November 13, 2010
I'm sad, and I'm tired
I usually only blog about the happy things (because seriously... there are enough horrible stories in the news alone to keep you up at night), but this is a different kind of post.
Just after Halloween, we had to put our German Shepherd to sleep. M got her his first year of vet school and lived alone with her for four years before we met. She then had to share him on weekends for the next year, until we married and I moved in to "their" house. I like to call her "The Girl He Loved Before He Loved Me." She was a rescue dog and definitely partly-insane, which I think helped prepare him for marrying me and then living with a hormonal girl for the past 4 1/2 years-- I've been pregnant or nursing all but 9 months of our married life!
Being an at-home mom means that the care of the kids, meals, house, and pets falls to me, while M works his tail off for our family. I love my job, and would have said that having just one dog around would make things easier (combined, both our dogs weighed over 150 pounds...) in terms of feeding, grooming, cleaning the house, etc, but I've discovered that having just one dog means that I feel there's a hole in my at-home life.
I miss feeding her, brushing her, washing her and having her shake 4 gallons of water on me. I miss chasing after her when she'd escape the gate to chase deer. I even miss cleaning up all of that hair. It's not so bad when I'm out of the house, but every time I go through my daily routine here, I notice the emptiness that her absence has created. I just miss her.
On a different but similar note, I'm tired. Worn down. It's been like this ever since our epic road trip in August (over 2 weeks of travel!). I feel like I can't keep up with life right now, and sleep just doesn't mean the same thing when you have two small ones who can't tell time. The tiredness isn't just being a mom of 2 kids, but something more that I can't figure out. I think it's time to get my hormones checked again.
And take a nap. Or exercise.
Is it terrible that while I have a feeling that the second option would make me feel better in the long run, the first one sounds sooooo much better now?
Please tell me to get my rear in gear and get back to my jogging. I felt better when I was doing that, but have lost the drive after dealing with everyone being sick within the last month, all at different times.
This has been a sad and pathetic post, but now that I've gotten it all off my chest, I will return to the happier posts of yore. I'd hate to wander down the path of whiny-ness, because it can be tough to find your way back.
Just after Halloween, we had to put our German Shepherd to sleep. M got her his first year of vet school and lived alone with her for four years before we met. She then had to share him on weekends for the next year, until we married and I moved in to "their" house. I like to call her "The Girl He Loved Before He Loved Me." She was a rescue dog and definitely partly-insane, which I think helped prepare him for marrying me and then living with a hormonal girl for the past 4 1/2 years-- I've been pregnant or nursing all but 9 months of our married life!
Being an at-home mom means that the care of the kids, meals, house, and pets falls to me, while M works his tail off for our family. I love my job, and would have said that having just one dog around would make things easier (combined, both our dogs weighed over 150 pounds...) in terms of feeding, grooming, cleaning the house, etc, but I've discovered that having just one dog means that I feel there's a hole in my at-home life.
I miss feeding her, brushing her, washing her and having her shake 4 gallons of water on me. I miss chasing after her when she'd escape the gate to chase deer. I even miss cleaning up all of that hair. It's not so bad when I'm out of the house, but every time I go through my daily routine here, I notice the emptiness that her absence has created. I just miss her.
On a different but similar note, I'm tired. Worn down. It's been like this ever since our epic road trip in August (over 2 weeks of travel!). I feel like I can't keep up with life right now, and sleep just doesn't mean the same thing when you have two small ones who can't tell time. The tiredness isn't just being a mom of 2 kids, but something more that I can't figure out. I think it's time to get my hormones checked again.
And take a nap. Or exercise.
Is it terrible that while I have a feeling that the second option would make me feel better in the long run, the first one sounds sooooo much better now?
Please tell me to get my rear in gear and get back to my jogging. I felt better when I was doing that, but have lost the drive after dealing with everyone being sick within the last month, all at different times.
This has been a sad and pathetic post, but now that I've gotten it all off my chest, I will return to the happier posts of yore. I'd hate to wander down the path of whiny-ness, because it can be tough to find your way back.
Monday, November 8, 2010
An open letter to The Powers That Be
To whom it may concern:
Would you mind terribly if the person who decided that "Fall Back" was a good idea could call me? Or rather, could he or she please call my children?
They seem to have missed the memo that the time has changed.
It would be helpful if this Fall-Back person could explain that while waking up at 6 am (children, not me-- I'm always awake by then) was somewhat acceptable, waking up at 5 am (children AND adults here... I get up at FIVE-FIFTEEN, not FIVE O'CLOCK) is not acceptable. I need time to have half a cup of coffee before it's time to be "on" for the rest of the day.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Lisa
PS Could Mr./Ms. Fall-Back please call before tomorrow morning? Thanks again.
Would you mind terribly if the person who decided that "Fall Back" was a good idea could call me? Or rather, could he or she please call my children?
They seem to have missed the memo that the time has changed.
It would be helpful if this Fall-Back person could explain that while waking up at 6 am (children, not me-- I'm always awake by then) was somewhat acceptable, waking up at 5 am (children AND adults here... I get up at FIVE-FIFTEEN, not FIVE O'CLOCK) is not acceptable. I need time to have half a cup of coffee before it's time to be "on" for the rest of the day.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Lisa
PS Could Mr./Ms. Fall-Back please call before tomorrow morning? Thanks again.
Monday, August 30, 2010
And I thought I'd be a millionaire...
Unfortunately, however, degrees in English and French did not top the chart of the best-paying college degrees in 2010. A degree in English did, however, rank just above forestry. And I was pleased to see that French actually made the chart. There must be more of us francophiles out there than I'd thought.
Look at the bottom 3 results. Anyone see a problem in our society??
Still 2 more days for the cookbook giveaway!
Look at the bottom 3 results. Anyone see a problem in our society??
Still 2 more days for the cookbook giveaway!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Blogging confessions, part 2: "Blenvy" is dangerous
Blenvy (n.)-- 1) A feeling of discontent or longing that is aroused after reading someone else's blog.
2) The desire to live another's blog-life, to have her readership, to take pictures like her, etc.
3) The overwhelming desire to redesign one's own blog after seeing another's blog.
(Derivatives) Blenvious.
I coined this word (fun SAT word... neologism. It means a newly-coined word. Thank you for your patience. The English teacher will now sit down) back in 2006 when I first started reading friends' blogs. A quick Google search today revealed that some other people are using it, too, though. I'm going to pretend that I was the first person to think of it/use it in context/use it in conversation. I feel like Shakespeare now.
Pardon me while I adjust my frilly collar.
The thing about blogging is that while there is a presumption of honesty associated with it, it can be whitewashed to either present the blogger in a better light or to avoid the unpleasant truth. I think we're all a bit guilty of this. I have to laugh sometimes when I'm reading a real-life friend's blog and see either a dramatically revised history or complete omission of truth.
I can picture all of my friend's wondering... is Lisa talking about ME here? Don't worry guys. I'm not going to call out anyone publicly, lest I've misrepresented myself on here! Plus, I'm certainly not writing this maliciously (I happen to like my friends!), but rather to muse on this phenomenon of only seeing what the blogger chooses to present.
Knowing what I do know, though, about the actual facts that have been amended or omitted makes me realize that there's no point in feeling blenvious about the lives of those I only know from their blogs.
The woman with the hilariously witty commentary might use biting words with her husband and children. The woman with the fabulous photos might not make her husband's breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday, instead telling him to buy it himself. The woman whose spiritual life I admire so much might presently have her own demons to battle and a past she'd rather forget. The woman with the perfectly organized and decorated house might be having marital issues or health problems.
Or maybe she just does like I do and cleans the one spot she's using as a background in her picture...
Wishing for someone else's life is futile, because 1) it just ain't gonna happen and 2) there's a good chance that one's own life is just as exciting and wonderful as other people's real lives. So, in a note to myself as much as everyone else, stop being blenvious, kiss your family extra today, and enjoy the wonderful gifts and life you have!
This has been a message from your local Public Blogcasting Station
2) The desire to live another's blog-life, to have her readership, to take pictures like her, etc.
3) The overwhelming desire to redesign one's own blog after seeing another's blog.
(Derivatives) Blenvious.
I coined this word (fun SAT word... neologism. It means a newly-coined word. Thank you for your patience. The English teacher will now sit down) back in 2006 when I first started reading friends' blogs. A quick Google search today revealed that some other people are using it, too, though. I'm going to pretend that I was the first person to think of it/use it in context/use it in conversation. I feel like Shakespeare now.
Pardon me while I adjust my frilly collar.
The thing about blogging is that while there is a presumption of honesty associated with it, it can be whitewashed to either present the blogger in a better light or to avoid the unpleasant truth. I think we're all a bit guilty of this. I have to laugh sometimes when I'm reading a real-life friend's blog and see either a dramatically revised history or complete omission of truth.
I can picture all of my friend's wondering... is Lisa talking about ME here? Don't worry guys. I'm not going to call out anyone publicly, lest I've misrepresented myself on here! Plus, I'm certainly not writing this maliciously (I happen to like my friends!), but rather to muse on this phenomenon of only seeing what the blogger chooses to present.
Knowing what I do know, though, about the actual facts that have been amended or omitted makes me realize that there's no point in feeling blenvious about the lives of those I only know from their blogs.
The woman with the hilariously witty commentary might use biting words with her husband and children. The woman with the fabulous photos might not make her husband's breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday, instead telling him to buy it himself. The woman whose spiritual life I admire so much might presently have her own demons to battle and a past she'd rather forget. The woman with the perfectly organized and decorated house might be having marital issues or health problems.
Or maybe she just does like I do and cleans the one spot she's using as a background in her picture...
Wishing for someone else's life is futile, because 1) it just ain't gonna happen and 2) there's a good chance that one's own life is just as exciting and wonderful as other people's real lives. So, in a note to myself as much as everyone else, stop being blenvious, kiss your family extra today, and enjoy the wonderful gifts and life you have!
This has been a message from your local Public Blogcasting Station
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Homeschooling discernment series: The plan
Do you know how much brain power it takes to think about writing about thinking about thinking about homeschooling?
Even more brain power than you just used trying to understand that question.
However, I'm done with the initial processing and am ready to dive head-first (ouch!) into thinking about... you know...
For my little family of four, this isn't currently a pressing matter, given that my oldest will not be entering Kindergarten until 2013. However, I know how quickly time has been flying by with two kids, and if we're lucky enough to add more to the mix, it's definitely not going to move any more slowly.
Here's my plan for the series, in no particular order:
1. Provide links to a number of Catholic/Christian-based homeschooling programs, homeschooling blogs, homeschooling books, and general advice and information about homeschooling.
2. Examine the financial implications of homeschooling, with regard to possible lack of second income and saving for college expenses.
3. Have guest posts from people who are considering homeschooling, people who currently homeschool, kids who are homeschooled, and people who would not homeschool their kids or are against it. I think this might provide a well-rounded view.
4. Compose a list (or chart for Lauren!) of the pros and cons of homeschooling vs. public schooling vs. private schooling, based on everything I learn.
5. Have posts on Wednesdays, and possibly Fridays (for guest posts only, if I have enough to warrant an extra day!). This will all start next week.
To give you an idea of where I'm coming from, here are some reservations I currently have:
- A high school teacher with my experience and education can make, in this area, around $40,000/year. I would not plan to work until all of our children were in Kindergarten, but even if we have more kids, this would likely mean I could make a couple (or several!) hundred thousand dollars to set aside for college education.
- My husband is not totally on-board with this. He's open to considering it, but I know I couldn't do this without his complete support. This is one of the reasons I'm doing this series!
- We have very highly-ranked public schools within minutes of our home. Everyone we know raves about how much their kids love the schools and how much they're learning. Would my children be best (or at least very well)-served there, with religious supplementation at home?
- I don't know how moms get a break, or even go grocery shopping or to doctor's appointments without having all of the children in tow.
- I loved going to school. I learned so much from my different teachers and benefited from learning from a variety of adults. This also helped me immensely as a teacher, knowing what styles of teaching I found most effective. I think it's important that children learn to respect a number of authority figures.
- I have a tendency to procrastinate. Will this hinder me in teaching my children? Will it enable them?
- Who will my children befriend? How will they make friends? Will I make them socially-awkward around their peers?
These are some of the questions and concerns that I need to address. There are so many positives to homeschooling, but I need to make sure that it's the right decision for me and my family.
Dive on in with me!
Even more brain power than you just used trying to understand that question.
However, I'm done with the initial processing and am ready to dive head-first (ouch!) into thinking about... you know...
HOMESCHOOLING!
(Sidenote: If anyone's children watch Sid the Science Kid on PBS, know that as I was writing that, I was saying it in Sid's voice-- "I want to know all about... HOMESCHOOLING!")
Here's my plan for the series, in no particular order:
1. Provide links to a number of Catholic/Christian-based homeschooling programs, homeschooling blogs, homeschooling books, and general advice and information about homeschooling.
2. Examine the financial implications of homeschooling, with regard to possible lack of second income and saving for college expenses.
3. Have guest posts from people who are considering homeschooling, people who currently homeschool, kids who are homeschooled, and people who would not homeschool their kids or are against it. I think this might provide a well-rounded view.
4. Compose a list (or chart for Lauren!) of the pros and cons of homeschooling vs. public schooling vs. private schooling, based on everything I learn.
5. Have posts on Wednesdays, and possibly Fridays (for guest posts only, if I have enough to warrant an extra day!). This will all start next week.
To give you an idea of where I'm coming from, here are some reservations I currently have:
- A high school teacher with my experience and education can make, in this area, around $40,000/year. I would not plan to work until all of our children were in Kindergarten, but even if we have more kids, this would likely mean I could make a couple (or several!) hundred thousand dollars to set aside for college education.
- My husband is not totally on-board with this. He's open to considering it, but I know I couldn't do this without his complete support. This is one of the reasons I'm doing this series!
- We have very highly-ranked public schools within minutes of our home. Everyone we know raves about how much their kids love the schools and how much they're learning. Would my children be best (or at least very well)-served there, with religious supplementation at home?
- I don't know how moms get a break, or even go grocery shopping or to doctor's appointments without having all of the children in tow.
- I loved going to school. I learned so much from my different teachers and benefited from learning from a variety of adults. This also helped me immensely as a teacher, knowing what styles of teaching I found most effective. I think it's important that children learn to respect a number of authority figures.
- I have a tendency to procrastinate. Will this hinder me in teaching my children? Will it enable them?
- Who will my children befriend? How will they make friends? Will I make them socially-awkward around their peers?
These are some of the questions and concerns that I need to address. There are so many positives to homeschooling, but I need to make sure that it's the right decision for me and my family.
Dive on in with me!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Why red wine is infinitely superior to white wine
While cleaning and reorganizing my pantry this weekend, I accidentally broke a bottle of white wine. Chardonnay, to be exact.
I don't even really like Chardonnay.
I find it too art-gallery pretentious, too sweetly "daytime wedding" reception-y, and far too uninspired.
,
Red wine has personality. It's bold and brash and just tempts you to spill it on your clothing, rug, or furniture. It leaves stains on the countertop when tiny droplets slide down the side of the bottle after you've poured the third glass.
Chardonnay just stinks when you spill it. Trust me. I spent quite a while picking up glass fragments and mopping up the river of wine. Even after you couldn't see it, you could smell it.
Had I broken a bottle of red wine, like a good Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon, at least there would have been an element of drama.
There she stood, surrounded by broken glass. The blood-red liquid pooled at her feet as she glanced about desperately for help. "Merde," she thought, cursing at herself in French, "There goes my $14.00 bottle of relaxation therapy."
See? I told you red wine is better.
I don't even really like Chardonnay.
I find it too art-gallery pretentious, too sweetly "daytime wedding" reception-y, and far too uninspired.
,
Red wine has personality. It's bold and brash and just tempts you to spill it on your clothing, rug, or furniture. It leaves stains on the countertop when tiny droplets slide down the side of the bottle after you've poured the third glass.
Chardonnay just stinks when you spill it. Trust me. I spent quite a while picking up glass fragments and mopping up the river of wine. Even after you couldn't see it, you could smell it.
Had I broken a bottle of red wine, like a good Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon, at least there would have been an element of drama.
There she stood, surrounded by broken glass. The blood-red liquid pooled at her feet as she glanced about desperately for help. "Merde," she thought, cursing at herself in French, "There goes my $14.00 bottle of relaxation therapy."
See? I told you red wine is better.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Blogging confessions, part 1: Art imitates life
I've been thinking... again... way too much.
But there's an interesting phenomenon occurring in my blogging-life that is perfectly echoed in my real-life.
I have no group.
It's been like this my entire life, and I don't know what it says about me that I can be a part of a group, but still very much apart from the group.
I went to a small Catholic school from kindergarten until the eighth grade, and I could hang out individually with almost any of the girls (and most of the guys), give or take a handful that I thought were mean. When we went on to the Catholic high school, many of the girls from my junior high stuck together in a clique. I still hung out individually with them, but wasn't part of that group.
During this same time I played fast-pitch softball with a local team and was popular on the team, but given how they went to local public schools and I was in Catholic school, I was never a part of their group really.
I had two very close friends in high school with whom I was part of "LL and Cool J," based on our initials. Even then, though, each of them had their own groups of which they were really a part.
I was a cheerleader, in the Honor Society, in Girl Scouts (oh yes... even as a freshmen I had every senior on campus buying cookies from me come Spring! No way was I embarrassed, when every Varsity football player was scribbling down his number and cookie order), involved with Church, on Student Council... and yet I always wondered what it was that made me always feel like I was on the periphery of every group. I was eagerly welcomed in to pretty much any group I wanted, but never felt like a card-carrying member.
Even in college, in my sorority, I had a few very close friends, but once again they typically belonged to other groups. On the sorority Executive Council, five of the eight of us still hang out regularly... I was one of the other three. The same with the Catholic church organizations, orientation camps at which I was a counselor, freshman leadership groups, honor groups, etc... I watched as seemingly everyone else made circles of friends, while I felt like I was a Venn Diagram, intersecting the circles but not being a circle myself.
But there's an interesting phenomenon occurring in my blogging-life that is perfectly echoed in my real-life.
I have no group.
It's been like this my entire life, and I don't know what it says about me that I can be a part of a group, but still very much apart from the group.
I went to a small Catholic school from kindergarten until the eighth grade, and I could hang out individually with almost any of the girls (and most of the guys), give or take a handful that I thought were mean. When we went on to the Catholic high school, many of the girls from my junior high stuck together in a clique. I still hung out individually with them, but wasn't part of that group.
During this same time I played fast-pitch softball with a local team and was popular on the team, but given how they went to local public schools and I was in Catholic school, I was never a part of their group really.
I had two very close friends in high school with whom I was part of "LL and Cool J," based on our initials. Even then, though, each of them had their own groups of which they were really a part.
I was a cheerleader, in the Honor Society, in Girl Scouts (oh yes... even as a freshmen I had every senior on campus buying cookies from me come Spring! No way was I embarrassed, when every Varsity football player was scribbling down his number and cookie order), involved with Church, on Student Council... and yet I always wondered what it was that made me always feel like I was on the periphery of every group. I was eagerly welcomed in to pretty much any group I wanted, but never felt like a card-carrying member.
Even in college, in my sorority, I had a few very close friends, but once again they typically belonged to other groups. On the sorority Executive Council, five of the eight of us still hang out regularly... I was one of the other three. The same with the Catholic church organizations, orientation camps at which I was a counselor, freshman leadership groups, honor groups, etc... I watched as seemingly everyone else made circles of friends, while I felt like I was a Venn Diagram, intersecting the circles but not being a circle myself.
(I'm the green "sustainability" intersection. Thank you to the University of Hawaii for having one of the first Venn Diagram images that I found on the web)
As a consultant for my sorority, I was forced to be on the periphery by the nature of my job. After that year, I taught high school and had friends, but still not a "group." If you look at the bridesmaids in my wedding, while they are all friendly to each other and very comfortable hanging out together, they're still "friends through Lisa" in that I'm not sure if they even have each others' phone numbers.
I've seen a huge number of my friends go on to join churches where they became a part of a marriage group that has lasted for 5+ years, or Moms groups that developed out of their churches that meet-up and even celebrate their childrens' birthdays together.
And now, to add insult to injury, I find the same thing occurring in the blogosphere! When I read the blog rolls of many real-life (RL) friends, I see the blogs of their RL friends, with whom I know they get together in large groups. Some friends from our church in the town in which we used to live have regular Bunko nights, and I see their names on the blogrolls and pictures of their weekly/bi-monthly/monthly get-togethers. It's interesting-- even though I have (had?) PCOS and took a while getting pregnant a second time, I don't feel like I can fit into the "Catholic IF" circle because I had no problem conceiving my first child.
Do I need a hobby? To start an Ulcerative Colitis group? Start an anti-Prednisone group? Find other stay-at-home-moms who are battling scorpions and potty training, hopefully with success in both areas?
Get off the Internet completely so I don't have to think about this?
Does anyone else feel this way?
(Crickets)
Does anyone else feel this way?
(Crickets)
Maybe this is just me. Independent. Easily blending but never fully belonging. Not minding (much) being alone, even in a huge group.
I should have been a spy.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Amusingly annoying
I've noticed the oddest phenomenon in the blogging world. Well, technically I've seen it on other popular websites that allow comments, so I guess I shouldn't limit it to blogging.
FIRST!
Over and over again, I see people writing
FIRST!
when they are the first person to leave a comment. Often, that's the only comment they leave.
FYI, there is no prize for being the first person to comment. There is no recognition or respect given to someone whose only contribution is to write the word "First." What a waste of time and keystrokes.
But my favorite scenario has to be the following...
Take a look at comment #8. This makes me laugh. Bet she felt silly when she went back and looked at all the comments.
Edited to add: And for the record, also "amusingly" annoying is the fact that my blog feed still continues to update about 10 hours (at least) late. NO idea why. The Kitchen blog shows posts immediately. My private blog, if taken public, shows posts immediately. I may be pulling all of my hair out this next week if I can't figure it out. However, I am in need of a haircut, so this may be a two birds-one stone kind of situation.
FIRST!
Over and over again, I see people writing
FIRST!
when they are the first person to leave a comment. Often, that's the only comment they leave.
FYI, there is no prize for being the first person to comment. There is no recognition or respect given to someone whose only contribution is to write the word "First." What a waste of time and keystrokes.
But my favorite scenario has to be the following...
Take a look at comment #8. This makes me laugh. Bet she felt silly when she went back and looked at all the comments.
Edited to add: And for the record, also "amusingly" annoying is the fact that my blog feed still continues to update about 10 hours (at least) late. NO idea why. The Kitchen blog shows posts immediately. My private blog, if taken public, shows posts immediately. I may be pulling all of my hair out this next week if I can't figure it out. However, I am in need of a haircut, so this may be a two birds-one stone kind of situation.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Formal debut
It's a bit ridiculous... I've spent about 4 months trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my blog: why I write it (personal journaling? keep friends and family in the loop? amuse others? create a readership? feel special when strangers comment? It's taken me some time to sort out my true intentions), what my blogging limits are (public or private blog? photos of kids/family/home? anecdotes of motherhood? anecdotes of marriage? details of my location?), who I wanted to be reading the blog (family? friends? friends of friends? people who get to the blog via a friend's blog or a comment I've made on a blog? anyone in the world?)
After much soul-searching and prayer, I have decided to create THIS blog, which is essentially going to be a "mirror" blog that has been scrubbed of photos and names of my kids and husband, in order to have a public blog that doesn't make me feel like I'm exposing my family to anyone and everyone. My criteria is that, if I wouldn't mind a perfect stranger (or creepy person at the grocery store) accessing this blog and printing each post and stapling it up on those WalMart bulletin boards, then it's ok. Otherwise, it's a no-go.
My #1 priority in my mothering job is protecting my family.
While I love to look at other people's blogs with great photos of their kids and home, I know that I need to keep some things private. By exposing too much, I leave myself open to regretting it if something bad were to happen. But, by revealing too little, I never run that risk. Even Ree, the Pioneer Woman, keeps the names of her children and husband private. I was reading a blog recently and noticed that while the author typically avoided mentioning the town she lives in, she had posted a photo that included the name and mentioned her family lived within biking distance. It hit me that I had the following information: her full name (last name had been mentioned on a different blog), the names of her children and husband, town she lives in and approximate location of her home, photos of what her house looks like, schools her children attend (also revealed in photos on the blog/clues in the blog), and what church they attend. There are way too many people out there who might use this information for less-than-honorable intentions, and with a fully-public blog, I have to be aware of this.
Do I want absolutely anyone out there to know what I have in my home? Would I be willing to post photos of the inside of my home at the local grocery store? Would I want my sonogram photos in every local church bulletin? Would I encourage my husband to pass out pictures of my children to all of his coworkers and ask them to hand them out to strangers? Would I tell strangers that I'm going out of town and how long I'll be away? Would I print out a list of all the major dates in our family, such as birth dates and anniversaries, and send it to the newspaper of a major city? Obviously... no. I have my Facebook page limited as to who can view it and the photos on it, and even then I question if I should remove photos/names/acknowledgment of birthdays and anniversaries.
However, I have a lot to say and I enjoy writing (don't want to let all those creative writing classes and M.A. just rot away in my brain!), so I'll enjoy blogging in a more safety-concious way, and hopefully anyone who stops by will enjoy reading it! As for family/home/personal pics, those will stay on my private blog.
Stay tuned for the companion cooking and recipe blog, cheerfullychaotickitchen.blogspot.com!
After much soul-searching and prayer, I have decided to create THIS blog, which is essentially going to be a "mirror" blog that has been scrubbed of photos and names of my kids and husband, in order to have a public blog that doesn't make me feel like I'm exposing my family to anyone and everyone. My criteria is that, if I wouldn't mind a perfect stranger (or creepy person at the grocery store) accessing this blog and printing each post and stapling it up on those WalMart bulletin boards, then it's ok. Otherwise, it's a no-go.
My #1 priority in my mothering job is protecting my family.
While I love to look at other people's blogs with great photos of their kids and home, I know that I need to keep some things private. By exposing too much, I leave myself open to regretting it if something bad were to happen. But, by revealing too little, I never run that risk. Even Ree, the Pioneer Woman, keeps the names of her children and husband private. I was reading a blog recently and noticed that while the author typically avoided mentioning the town she lives in, she had posted a photo that included the name and mentioned her family lived within biking distance. It hit me that I had the following information: her full name (last name had been mentioned on a different blog), the names of her children and husband, town she lives in and approximate location of her home, photos of what her house looks like, schools her children attend (also revealed in photos on the blog/clues in the blog), and what church they attend. There are way too many people out there who might use this information for less-than-honorable intentions, and with a fully-public blog, I have to be aware of this.
Do I want absolutely anyone out there to know what I have in my home? Would I be willing to post photos of the inside of my home at the local grocery store? Would I want my sonogram photos in every local church bulletin? Would I encourage my husband to pass out pictures of my children to all of his coworkers and ask them to hand them out to strangers? Would I tell strangers that I'm going out of town and how long I'll be away? Would I print out a list of all the major dates in our family, such as birth dates and anniversaries, and send it to the newspaper of a major city? Obviously... no. I have my Facebook page limited as to who can view it and the photos on it, and even then I question if I should remove photos/names/acknowledgment of birthdays and anniversaries.
However, I have a lot to say and I enjoy writing (don't want to let all those creative writing classes and M.A. just rot away in my brain!), so I'll enjoy blogging in a more safety-concious way, and hopefully anyone who stops by will enjoy reading it! As for family/home/personal pics, those will stay on my private blog.
Stay tuned for the companion cooking and recipe blog, cheerfullychaotickitchen.blogspot.com!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Just me
I was "blog-hopping" one day after having read a comment on Clover Lane that I particularly liked. I ended up at Views from My Kitchen Sink, where I found a great post about having a picture of yourself that you really like, with no husband or children in the photo. I thought about how the majority of my photos are of the kids, or M with the kids, or just M, or me with M and/or the kids. I'm usually the one behind the lens these days. And the photos that are just of me have been rather hideous of late.
But then I came across THIS photo:
I love it! I was pregnant with H and pushing C in a stroller along the bumpiest, cobbliest, cobblestone street in Montreal last summer. We had just gotten our new camera and M was dying to really "take it for a spin." Every few feet he'd call out my name to take another photo of me and C... this must have been the 100th that evening. I can see in the slightly tired eyes that the long walk, uphill on cobblestones while 5+ months pregnant, while pushing a stroller and lugging a diaper bag, was beginning to take its toll. But, when I see this picture I smile because I see how completely happy I was. This picture reminds me of who I am on days when I'm dragging or frustrated or cranky. I love how the cars and street are blurred behind me-- it's as if, for just one moment, the bustle of daily life stopped, and there I was.
It's just me, who I am. Maybe not the me in the mirror at exactly this or that frustrated moment, but the me I see when I close my eyes. The me my husband saw on our wedding day and every morning when we wake up.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Crazy fun news
I have a few blogs that I read on a regular basis, and I sometimes enter the giveaways that they sponsor. Now, on sites like Pioneer Woman, where over 45,000 people tend to all want the 3 Kitchenaid mixers, or the new iPad, or a Photoshop giveaway, I have a pretty good idea that I shouldn't hold my breath.
BUT...
I actually DID win something in a Tatortots and Jello giveaway! I won a fashion look book from Cardigan Empire.
Basically, I just sent Reachel, the woman behind Cardigan Empire, my measurements, lifestyle, favorite/least colors to wear, and pictures of myself. She's making a personalized style guide for me! In the past, I would never have thought much about this, since I've always thought I'm pretty good at putting my outfits together. However, with this latest round of post-pregnancy weight/Prednisone, and a lack of clothes that fit and aren't maternity clothes, I've had trouble finding what looks good on me, let alone decent on me. I've been hesitant to buy new clothes until I shape up, which means I have yoga pants and T-shirts... that's basically it.
I'll write more about this once I get the look book! I'm excited to have someone point out options that I'm not seeing now.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Kicking myself
Have you ever gotten irrationally annoyed with someone you love and who loves you, who you know has your best interests at heart, for voicing EXACTLY what you were already thinking? And then you found yourself defending the very thing that you were already doubting?
No? Oh. Me either. Of course not.
No? Oh. Me either. Of course not.
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