Thoughts on being single

A blogger who I enjoy following (Shannon at A Friend of Gianna) has written recently about being separated (physically) from someone very special to her, for several months. I was thinking about this over the weekend and remembering how long waiting once seemed (now it seems my life is moving far too quickly as my kids grow up) when I was single. I thought about sending her an e-mail, but wanted to hear other thoughts on being single. I wish I could go back and give my single-self some advice about how to make the most of the time before marriage and children, but since I can't do that, I can lay out my thoughts for Shannon. The irony of it all is that, while she currently thinks that there is a long time before she gets to see her beau, if she plans to do any or all of my suggestions, she will likely panic and think, "I don't have enough time to do this!" It's all about perspective. :)

My advice on being single:

Learn new things, and get good at them

Make a goal of trying one new recipe a week. Ask friends for their favorite recipes, look online, and check out different cookbooks from your local library. Sign up for cooking classes and then practice, practice, practice. It's easy to get into a cooking rut once your husband and kids have favorite meals that you know will always turn out great. It's more difficult to experiment because if things don't turn out like you'd hoped, you may end up making two meals in one night.

Take up a new hobby and take classes for it. Want to learn Italian? Sign up at a local junior college or find a native speaker willing to give you lessons. Take piano lessons or sewing classes. Learn how to decorate cakes in a Wilton course or take a painting class from a local artist. Find a guy friend who will let you practice cutting his hair... there are plenty of videos on YouTube about how to do this (or find a hairdresser who will teach you), and it will be an invaluable skill once you're married.

Develop really practical skills not generally associated with females, like basic woodworking, basic auto repair, and self-defense. Go to a firing range and learn to shoot. Have your father, brother, or male friend (or me... I learned while in grad school when my husband was commuting 2 hours each way to work!) teach you how to grill a mean steak on a charcoal grill. Go fishing or camping and bait your own hook or set up your own tent.

Discover your city

Grab a friend and visit different restaurants around town. Ask the waiters what's good and then order those things. Then, when you have a date night at some point down the road, you have several restaurant options and different dishes to suggest.

Visit museums that you wouldn't normally think you'd like. Not really into modern art? Take a guided tour. Don't know much about the history of airplanes or cowgirls or American Indians? Read up on the museum and then go there with an open mind.

Once a month or every other month, do something big-- go to a concert, the ballet, the opera, or an outdoor festival. Appreciate how in this season of your life, you can do things like this without a lot of babysitter planning or agreement from a spouse!

Get healthy

This will be the easiest time in your life to get in shape, inside and out. Start/continue a workout plan. Scheduling workouts around kids' naptimes and your spouse's home improvement projects takes planning to a new level.

Join some sort of team: volleyball, kickball, running club, table tennis... it doesn't matter. Just connect with others who enjoy the same sport.

Eat locally and organically, at least in part. Buy five different kinds of apples and see which you like best. Visit farmer's markets to see what's being grown in season, and try to buy only those kinds of veggies and fruits at the grocery store.

Get eye exams, physicals, and dental cleanings regularly. Do self breast exams monthly. Floss. Take a multivitamin and drink lots of water. Again, once kids are in the picture, going to a doctor or dentist takes some major planning. Get a good haircut and use a good shampoo. Don't forget to moisturize and wear sunscreen!

Learn about yourself, and adjust accordingly

If you are always running late, make it a point to allow extra time to leave and get somewhere. If you procrastinate, set goals and reward yourself for achieving them on-time. If you have trouble staying organized, make some new habits that will help you to get better. Forming new (read: better) habits is so much easier when you're the only one having to adapt to the change!

Save, save, save your money! It's tempting to think that this is the only time your money will be all yours, but really, it already belongs to you and your future spouse. I wish I'd saved more (and bought fewer shoes and frivolous things) so that I would have entered our marriage with a larger nest egg. If you don't currently budget, start now. Learn about money, because there is a 50-50 chance that you'll be the one handling the family finances.

Read new books. Learn more about your faith. Subscribe to a newspaper or magazine that presents a world view (as in, what is going on in the entire world). If you have the chance to travel, do it! Find a few cities you really like and go there at least once or twice a year. Find favorite places to eat and stay there, and consider them "your" places.

Okay, fellow bloggers... what other advice would you give to your single or pre-children self?