A time to live, and a time (for scorpions) to DIE

In order to really understand this post, you'll need to see the previous one. 

After taking C to the doctor for her 4 month visit and vaccines, I stopped by Ace Hardware to talk with the scorpion-killing expert. I made sure to point out that I don't just want to kill the few that I might see, but I want to either 1) frighten them all away forever or 2) completely annihilate every last one. After he told me that nothing scares them, I settled for total destruction. Before I bought the indoor spray and the outdoor power killer, I contemplated the following methods of death for the little terrors that have chosen to move in with me:

Cannon to right of them/Cannon to left of them... this method might leave a few holes in the house, though.

I feel that the TNT method would be very Wile E. Coyote of me. It has promise.

I don't actually know what's going on here, but this looks like it would take care of scorpions.

The one problem with this idea, besides the fact that I don't know where one purchases a guillotine, is that it might only cut off a leg or something. I'm going for 100% dead, not just the walking-wounded.

The samurai is my top choice for several obvious reasons. 1) I would not even have to be in the house while he goes all crazy on them. 2) With all of his clothing, he is far less likely to get stung while crawling in the attic to kill the scorpions. 3) He might even be available for babysitting while I run to the store. 

Closing note: If any scorpions are reading this, please stay away from my house. I have pesticide, and I'm not afraid to use it.

My closet is Hell

This is not a funny, ironic, "my closet is a mess" kind of post. No, my friends, this is a "Lisa has come face-to-face with her understanding of Hell" kind of post. Let me explain...

M is still off in New York, leaving me and C to work on whipping the house into shape (much slower than I'd ever anticipated). Since C and I are heading back home tomorrow, I thought I'd go ahead and organize my closet a bit and pack. Oh no, my friends, oh no. That will not be happening. There will be no closet organizing. After I flipped on the closet light today, I heard a rustling noise above my head. I thought that maybe a moth was hitting against a plastic hanger. And then, I look up to see THIS:

I would advise clicking the photo in order to enlarge it... then you'll understand my horror. THREE SCORPIONS (1 huge, 1 medium, 1 deceptively small) were in the light globe, which I assume means that they came in from the attic. I called my mom immediately to tell her I might be heading home tonight instead of tomorrow. When I explained that the scorpions appeared to be fighting and locked in mortal combat, she mused about when their mating season is. Not only did this scare the daylights out of me even MORE, it also says something about mom's mind, I think. Get it out of the gutter, Mom!

There is also a scorpion in my husband's closet globe. I turned on both lights and left them on... hopefully these guys will die miserable deaths up there and it will be a warning to their friends. Our neighbors have told their horror stories about scorpions, but I naively believed I didn't have to go into panic mode until May. Hmm... guess not. This has become my idea of Hell.