Scorpion Update: The Battle Continues to Rage

Scorpion tally, including today's beast...

Scorpion stings: 0 (Thank the Lord!)

Scorpions found dead inside, no need to kill: 2 (one in bedroom, one in living room)

Scorpions found dead, smashed between two pieces of siding for shed: 1

Scorpions found alive under charcoal bucket: 1

Scorpions found alive in closet light globes and fried with heat from bulb: 5

Live scorpions found in bedroom, and immediately killed: 1

Live scorpions found in living room, and immediately killed: 1

Live scorpions found in dining room/kitchen, and immediately killed: 3

Scorpions personally killed by me: 4 (11 if you include the ones found dead inside from light bulb heat/industrial bug spray)

Scorpions personally killed by my husband: 2 (seems a bit unfair, no?)

This is FAR TOO MANY scorpions. No scorpion is a good scorpion, but the best kind is a dead one. Unfortunately, I have come across FAR TOO MANY in the past month. Our house is around 1600 square feet. Given the randomness at which I have just happened to be in the right (wrong) place at the right (wrong) time to see these beasts (case in point, today one crawled right under my daughter's Pack 'n' Play and was heading under my bed just as I was laying her down for a nap... had I gone in there a minute later, he'd have been safe from my "killing shoe"), I have estimated that we have over 30 million scorpions roaming the house. The math formula is highly complex and looks something like this:

1600 sq. ft x 10 toes on Lisa's feet x Lisa's 2 eyes x 1 baby that likes to distract Lisa x 3.14 x a whole bunch of other numbers = 30 million scorpions= FAR TOO MANY scorpions

(This is the beast I killed in the kitchen a few weeks ago. Don't worry... I smashed him over 50 times to ensure he was dead before I took the photo. These scorpions seem to have a way of coming back to life, so I made sure I was 100% positive he'd kicked the bucket.)