Marriage question

What makes a marriage fall apart?

I was humming to myself in the shower while the kids napped (Blessed day! They BOTH took a nap! At the same time!) and realized I was humming a song I liked back in high school. It reminded me of singing to a little boy who I used to babysit, to help him fall asleep.

Those of you who know me in real life are wondering how in the hell my singing helped him to sleep.

But it did. I swear.

Or maybe he passed out from the sheer range of my vocal chords. Ok, it's a slight range. And not a pretty one, at that. But it helped him sleep either way. Moving on...

I babysat for this little boy for years, at least three times a month and often more frequently. His parents were scrupulous about planning date nights-- dinner with friends or seeing a movie together or having game nights with their friends or attending Bible studies at their church. They eventually adopted an infant girl from overseas with a cleft palate, and obviously took on all of her surgery expenses. They always seemed so happy together. I always hoped that my own marriage would someday be like theirs, especially when (embarrassing story ahead... avert your eyes, oh Ye of the Faint Hearts!) I went into their bedroom to get the baby shampoo after a major spit-up incident and found a black négligée hanging on the closet door. This was an old couple... in their THIRTIES... and clearly they were still crazy in love. 

I know. It's frightening that I once found them to be soooo old. Dear heavens, I AM that old now!

Anyway, the shower humming made me think about their son and wonder whatever happened to him. So, thanking modern (invasive) technology, I looked him up on Facebook. 

There were a couple of guys with his name, but I was able to narrow it down to three possibilities, one in which the boy's face was partially obscured and the other two in which graphics replaced the photo. Hmm. Not enough information was posted to help me narrow it down from there. I knew the son would be either 19 or 20 now, but I couldn't figure out which of the three he might be and thought about giving up at this point.

Then I decided to look up his parents. That's when I discovered... (shocker at this point, I'm sure)...

They're not married to each other anymore.

The husband is remarried, and I found the wife on Facebook, but can't tell if she's using her maiden name or a married name. The daughter with the cleft palate, by the way, is ridiculously gorgeous now (and 15!). 

I know it's been around 15 years since I've seen these people, but I was so saddened by the dissolution of their marriage. It's kind of crazy-- the last time I watched their children they were so in love, and suddenly (for me, not them) it ended. I don't understand how it happens. I want some sort of early warning system, like a carbon monoxide alert system, to let me know if my own marriage is starting to veer off the tracks. 

Maybe this is where the Sacrament of Confession comes into play. By keeping our consciences clean, and being forced to examine our failings and temptations, we are more likely to see warning signs. I've gotten lax about Confession recently. I make the excuse that, with two young children, it's hard to get there. But, if I can (someday soon, hopefully!) find time for a haircut, no doubt I can fit in a chance to update my soul, as well. Especially if it provides some added insurance in my marriage!

Saying a prayer for marriages everywhere.