Blogging confessions, part 2: "Blenvy" is dangerous

Blenvy (n.)-- 1) A feeling of discontent or longing that is aroused after reading someone else's blog.
2) The desire to live another's blog-life, to have her readership, to take pictures like her, etc.
3) The overwhelming desire to redesign one's own blog after seeing another's blog.
(Derivatives) Blenvious.

I coined this word (fun SAT word... neologism. It means a newly-coined word. Thank you for your patience. The English teacher will now sit down) back in 2006 when I first started reading friends' blogs. A quick Google search today revealed that some other people are using it, too, though. I'm going to pretend that I was the first person to think of it/use it in context/use it in conversation. I feel like Shakespeare now.

Pardon me while I adjust my frilly collar.

The thing about blogging is that while there is a presumption of honesty associated with it, it can be whitewashed to either present the blogger in a better light or to avoid the unpleasant truth. I think we're all a bit guilty of this. I have to laugh sometimes when I'm reading a real-life friend's blog and see either a dramatically revised history or complete omission of truth.

I can picture all of my friend's wondering... is Lisa talking about ME here? Don't worry guys. I'm not going to call out anyone publicly, lest I've misrepresented myself on here! Plus, I'm certainly not writing this maliciously (I happen to like my friends!), but rather to muse on this phenomenon of only seeing what the blogger chooses to present.

Knowing what I do know, though, about the actual facts that have been amended or omitted makes me realize that there's no point in feeling blenvious about the lives of those I only know from their blogs.

The woman with the hilariously witty commentary might use biting words with her husband and children. The woman with the fabulous photos might not make her husband's breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday, instead telling him to buy it himself. The woman whose spiritual life I admire so much might presently have her own demons to battle and a past she'd rather forget. The woman with the perfectly organized and decorated house might be having marital issues or health problems.

Or maybe she just does like I do and cleans the one spot she's using as a background in her picture...

Wishing for someone else's life is futile, because 1) it just ain't gonna happen and 2) there's a good chance that one's own life is just as exciting and wonderful as other people's real lives. So, in a note to myself as much as everyone else, stop being blenvious, kiss your family extra today, and enjoy the wonderful gifts and life you have!

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Homeschooling discernment series: The plan

Do you know how much brain power it takes to think about writing about thinking about thinking about homeschooling?

Even more brain power than you just used trying to understand that question.

However, I'm done with the initial processing and am ready to dive head-first (ouch!) into thinking about... you know...
 

HOMESCHOOLING!

(Sidenote: If anyone's children watch Sid the Science Kid on PBS, know that as I was writing that, I was saying it in Sid's voice-- "I want to know all about... HOMESCHOOLING!")

 

For my little family of four, this isn't currently a pressing matter, given that my oldest will not be entering Kindergarten until 2013. However, I know how quickly time has been flying by with two kids, and if we're lucky enough to add more to the mix, it's definitely not going to move any more slowly.

Here's my plan for the series, in no particular order:

1. Provide links to a number of Catholic/Christian-based homeschooling programs, homeschooling blogs, homeschooling books, and general advice and information about homeschooling.

2. Examine the financial implications of homeschooling, with regard to possible lack of second income and saving for college expenses.

3. Have guest posts from people who are considering homeschooling, people who currently homeschool, kids who are homeschooled, and people who would not homeschool their kids or are against it. I think this might provide a well-rounded view.

4. Compose a list (or chart for Lauren!) of the pros and cons of homeschooling vs. public schooling vs. private schooling, based on everything I learn.

5. Have posts on Wednesdays, and possibly Fridays (for guest posts only, if I have enough to warrant an extra day!). This will all start next week.

To give you an idea of where I'm coming from, here are some reservations I currently have:

- A high school teacher with my experience and education can make, in this area, around $40,000/year. I would not plan to work until all of our children were in Kindergarten, but even if we have more kids, this would likely mean I could make a couple (or several!) hundred thousand dollars to set aside for college education.

- My husband is not totally on-board with this. He's open to considering it, but I know I couldn't do this without his complete support. This is one of the reasons I'm doing this series!

- We have very highly-ranked public schools within minutes of our home. Everyone we know raves about how much their kids love the schools and how much they're learning. Would my children be best (or at least very well)-served there, with religious supplementation at home?

- I don't know how moms get a break, or even go grocery shopping or to doctor's appointments without having all of the children in tow.

- I loved going to school. I learned so much from my different teachers and benefited from learning from a variety of adults. This also helped me immensely as a teacher, knowing what styles of teaching I found most effective. I think it's important that children learn to respect a number of authority figures.

- I have a tendency to procrastinate. Will this hinder me in teaching my children? Will it enable them?

- Who will my children befriend? How will they make friends? Will I make them socially-awkward around their peers?

These are some of the questions and concerns that I need to address. There are so many positives to homeschooling, but I need to make sure that it's the right decision for me and my family.

Dive on in with me!

Baby Jesus tastes like... pears?

In an attempt to make his First Communion about 7 years too early, H endeavored to devour our Little People Baby Jesus. Yep-- swaddling clothes, halo, hay, and all. When the tasting was complete, our sweet Lord looked none the worse for the wear.

Though I do notice that he smells like pears now.

H then moved on to a camel, shepherd, and policeman.

What? You don't remember the policeman in the Nativity story? 

He's the one who issued the noise citation to the angels singing their heavenly praise after curfew.

Why red wine is infinitely superior to white wine

While cleaning and reorganizing my pantry this weekend, I accidentally broke a bottle of white wine. Chardonnay, to be exact.

I don't even really like Chardonnay.

I find it too art-gallery pretentious, too sweetly "daytime wedding" reception-y, and far too uninspired.
,
Red wine has personality. It's bold and brash and just tempts you to spill it on your clothing, rug, or furniture. It leaves stains on the countertop when tiny droplets slide down the side of the bottle after you've poured the third glass.

Chardonnay just stinks when you spill it. Trust me. I spent quite a while picking up glass fragments and mopping up the river of wine. Even after you couldn't see it, you could smell it.

Had I broken a bottle of red wine, like a good Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon, at least there would have been an element of drama.

There she stood, surrounded by broken glass. The blood-red liquid pooled at her feet as she glanced about desperately for help. "Merde," she thought, cursing at herself in French, "There goes my $14.00 bottle of relaxation therapy."

See? I told you red wine is better.

Blogging confessions, part 1: Art imitates life

I've been thinking... again... way too much.

But there's an interesting phenomenon occurring in my blogging-life that is perfectly echoed in my real-life.

I have no group.

It's been like this my entire life, and I don't know what it says about me that I can be a part of a group, but still very much apart from the group.

I went to a small Catholic school from kindergarten until the eighth grade, and I could hang out individually with almost any of the girls (and most of the guys), give or take a handful that I thought were mean.  When we went on to the Catholic high school, many of the girls from my junior high stuck together in a clique. I still hung out individually with them, but wasn't part of that group.

During this same time I played fast-pitch softball with a local team and was popular on the team, but given how they went to local public schools and I was in Catholic school, I was never a part of their group really.

I had two very close friends in high school with whom I was part of "LL and Cool J," based on our initials. Even then, though, each of them had their own groups of which they were really a part.

I was a cheerleader, in the Honor Society, in Girl Scouts (oh yes... even as a freshmen I had every senior on campus buying cookies from me come Spring! No way was I embarrassed, when every Varsity football player was scribbling down his number and cookie order), involved with Church, on Student Council... and yet I always wondered what it was that made me always feel like I was on the periphery of every group. I was eagerly welcomed in to pretty much any group I wanted, but never felt like a card-carrying member.

Even in college, in my sorority, I had a few very close friends, but once again they typically belonged to other groups. On the sorority Executive Council, five of the eight of us still hang out regularly... I was one of the other three. The same with the Catholic church organizations, orientation camps at which I was a counselor, freshman leadership groups, honor groups, etc... I watched as seemingly everyone else made circles of friends, while I felt like I was a Venn Diagram, intersecting the circles but not being a circle myself.

 (I'm the green "sustainability" intersection. Thank you to the University of Hawaii for having one of the first Venn Diagram images that I found on the web)

As a consultant for my sorority, I was forced to be on the periphery by the nature of my job. After that year, I taught high school and had friends, but still not a "group." If you look at the bridesmaids in my wedding, while they are all friendly to each other and very comfortable hanging out together, they're still "friends through Lisa" in that I'm not sure if they even have each others' phone numbers.

I've seen a huge number of my friends go on to join churches where they became a part of a marriage group that has lasted for 5+ years, or Moms groups that developed out of their churches that meet-up and even celebrate their childrens' birthdays together.

And now, to add insult to injury, I find the same thing occurring in the blogosphere! When I read the blog rolls of many real-life (RL) friends, I see the blogs of their RL friends, with whom I know they get together in large groups. Some friends from our church in the town in which we used to live have regular Bunko nights, and I see their names on the blogrolls and pictures of their weekly/bi-monthly/monthly get-togethers. It's interesting-- even though I have (had?) PCOS and took a while getting pregnant a second time, I don't feel like I can fit into the "Catholic IF" circle because I had no problem conceiving my first child.

Do I need a hobby? To start an Ulcerative Colitis group? Start an anti-Prednisone group? Find other stay-at-home-moms who are battling scorpions and potty training, hopefully with success in both areas?

Get off the Internet completely so I don't have to think about this?

Does anyone else feel this way?

(Crickets)

Maybe this is just me. Independent. Easily blending but never fully belonging. Not minding (much) being alone, even in a huge group.

I should have been a spy.

Homeschooling discernment series

So, I've been pondering and praying about just thinking about homeschooling, and now I think I'm ready to talk about it and write about it. In fact, I'm thinking of doing a (weekly?) series on this discernment process/fact-finding mission. Would anyone be interested in hearing my thoughts?

(Silence)

Bueller? Bueller?

Hmm.

Well, my plan is to continue to do research, compile a list of Catholic/Christian homeschooling blogs, and interview homeschooling mothers.

That's as far as I've gotten for now.

Whew.

However, I feel it necessary to refer you back to THIS post.

Think what you will.

Vision of her teenage years

C just woke up from her nap. Typically she calls for me (there's a gate up because otherwise she won't stay in her room) and wants me to get her out of her room.

Not this time.

Oh, no, friends. After calling for me, she asked me to fix her gate (it wasn't on perfectly straight) and get her some more water. After I brought it to her, she said thank you, gave me a kiss, and shut the door. For all I know, she's on the phone with boys and trying on make-up while listening to rap music on her iPod. Ok, not likely given that she's not even 3 yet, but I can see the future and it's not pretty.

Yeah. You're welcome, kid. It sure was fun being needed while it lasted.